Prison

I went to prison for at least 4 years when I was in my early twenties. I don't want to say why I went. 

Then I guess I never learned my lesson because a few years ago I went back to prison.

I like getting in bar fights, abusing my girlfriends, refusing to pay child support, and lots of other illegal things that get me locked up.

I used to deal cocaine but now I sell cell phones for Pocket Communications. It doesn't pay as well but at least I have a lot of free time to knock girls up.

Since I never went to college, I have to work at this shitty job which pays $9 an hour and a high schooler could easily do. Oh wait, high schoolers DO work the exact same job as me. I'm 32 and see nothing wrong with that.